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Am I allowed a pity party?
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DanielB
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June 3, 2014 - 3:03 am
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Perhaps you will meet some new friends at the event. 

"This young wine may have a lot of tannins now, but in 5 or 10 years it is going to be spectacular, despite the fact that right now it tastes like crude oil. You know this is how it is supposed to taste at this stage of development." ~ Itzhak Perlman

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Fiddlestix
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Would you yourself be going to the festival if your teacher hadn't asked you to participate ?

"What's it all about, Alfie" semiquaver-1214 What kind of festival is it.

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Oliver
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Maybe a chance to play your best "stuff"?

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

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rczeien
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Do they know it's important to you? It's also important to over-invite to any event.

 

I wouldn't feel too sorry for yourself. This is an opportunity to meet new people, and self-pity is a disease to be avoided at all cost.

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KindaScratchy
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June 3, 2014 - 9:36 pm
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Am I missing something here? It looks like Daniel started this thread yet his post reads like a response to someone. The other posts also sound like responses to something I can't see. Unless its a quirk of reading the forum on my Kindle Fire...
dunno

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Fiddlestix
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June 3, 2014 - 11:26 pm
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No quirk, Diane, someone did start a thread, but evidently they returned and removed it.  Dunno why they did that.

Apparently a violin student was asked by their teacher to play at a festival and her / his friends were not going to go to watch the person play.

So she or he kinda had the idea of finding new friends. I guess the person felt a bit disheartened by the whole thing, which I can't blame them for that.

That's about all I can recall of it.

 

Ken. 

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1stimestar
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That was me.  I deleted it because it just sounded too much like whining to me, which it WAS whining.  

 

Opportunity is often missed because it wears suspenders and looks like hard work.

 

Alaska, the Madness; Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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1stimestar
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Fiddlestix said
Would you yourself be going to the festival if your teacher hadn't asked you to participate ?

"What's it all about, Alfie" semiquaver-1214 What kind of festival is it.

Definitely.  This is the first Fairbanks Folk fest I get to go to in a few years because I normally drive 6 hours to my favorite multi day one, Chickenstock, in the town of Chicken, Alaska.  But they changed the weekend so more of us could attend both.  

 

Opportunity is often missed because it wears suspenders and looks like hard work.

 

Alaska, the Madness; Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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Fiddlerman
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June 4, 2014 - 8:01 am
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Georganne, I don't think you should dump your friend but looking for new friends is always a good thing. I don't think a person can have too many friends.

Your friend either doesn't know how important it is to you or is selfish.

"The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least."

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Uzi
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I'm not positive, but I think Puddles is the only one allowed to have a pity party.

 

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright

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Fiddlestix
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Pretty sad party, Uzi.    

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KindaScratchy
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June 4, 2014 - 8:26 pm
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1stimestar said

Fiddlestix said
Would you yourself be going to the festival if your teacher hadn't asked you to participate ?

"What's it all about, Alfie" semiquaver-1214 What kind of festival is it.

Definitely.  This is the first Fairbanks Folk fest I get to go to in a few years because I normally drive 6 hours to my favorite multi day one, Chickenstock, in the town of Chicken, Alaska.  But they changed the weekend so more of us could attend both.  

Just catching up here and not sure I know the whole story, but... Although I'd be disappointed if my friends didn't want to see me play, I wouldn't be surprised. I don't have any friends who play musical instruments, so I don't think any of them would be interested in going to that type of event.

As Pierre indicated, don't "unfriend" your friends, but rather see if you can find new friends with similar musical interests. This reminds me of a song I learned in Girl Scouts that goes: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.

BTW, I am still chuckling about the name of that folk festival: Chickenstock. That's great! LOL.

rofl

When the work's all done and the sun's settin' low,

I pull out my fiddle and I rosin up the bow.

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1stimestar
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June 5, 2014 - 2:59 pm
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Here's one of our trips to Chickenstock.  We go from there up to Eagle, AK to visit some friends who live off the Yukon River.

 

A Fowl Adventure

 

Opportunity is often missed because it wears suspenders and looks like hard work.

 

Alaska, the Madness; Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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coolpinkone
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I can understand why people don't want to hear me play...(kind of).. I am kind  of surprised that over the last year, my own mother comes to visit and doesn't ask me to play? And  my own immediately family never asks me to play...(maybe scared to death from that first year??)

I have a girl friend who doesn't play who always loves to hear the latest, and has put in some requests.   And I have a few friends on Facebook that would love to hear.  

I really get excited still about violin.  I could talk about it and play every obsessively.  I can't expect my friends to "get that"

THANK GOODNESS for FM.com.

Toni

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

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Schaick
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@1stimestar- It has to be tough because of where you live. I am in a city of at least 844,000!!

I have many very different interests raising children, gardening, arts, violin, volunteering, etc. and so have many different circles of friends.  Even different circles with my volunteering efforts.  All know about each other, but not all share the very same interests so none have been together at anyone time, except maybe at my children's weddings.  Then there is the couple issue - my hubby and I have friends where we are friends as a couple and then there are some where my hubby and their hubby just would not mix!!

I have only played for the friend that gave me the violin and my family.

Now all of a sudden though I have a whole new group of people at the jams that have a potential to become friends....if I don't cause them to become deaf first!!

PLEASE get someone to record you!!  I want to see and hear you play!!!

Violinist start date -  May 2013  

Fiddler start date - May 2014

FIDDLE- Gift from a dear friend. A 1930-40 german copy, of a french copy of a Stradivarius.  BOW - $50 carbon fiber. Strings - Dominants with E Pirastro Gold string.

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1stimestar
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Schaick said
@1stimestar- It has to be tough because of where you live. I am in a city of at least 844,000!!

I have many very different interests raising children, gardening, arts, violin, volunteering, etc. and so have many different circles of friends.  Even different circles with my volunteering efforts.  All know about each other, but not all share the very same interests so none have been together at anyone time, except maybe at my children's weddings.  Then there is the couple issue - my hubby and I have friends where we are friends as a couple and then there are some where my hubby and their hubby just would not mix!!

I have only played for the friend that gave me the violin and my family.

Now all of a sudden though I have a whole new group of people at the jams that have a potential to become friends....if I don't cause them to become deaf first!!

PLEASE get someone to record you!!  I want to see and hear you play!!!

Crickey!  We don't even have that many people in our whole state and it's the largest state by land in the union.  I'll try to get my daughter to record me.  She does ok for a 12 year old.  Thanks for all the support.  I'm feeling a bit embarrassed by my whining but my feelings are still hurt.  I support them in their passions.  I know at least one of them IS going to the festival but later in the day. Apparently 1 pm is too early to get out and about on a Saturday.  See yes, a bit bitter too.     

 

Opportunity is often missed because it wears suspenders and looks like hard work.

 

Alaska, the Madness; Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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DanielB
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@1stimestar: Maybe the social customs up there are a bit different from what I am used to.  I've always been surprised (though pleasantly so) when friends would show up for a gig that was 50 miles away from "home".  Not a lot did, and it was usually the same ones, time and again.  Those are the folks to make sure you take special care of and try to keep in touch with over the years.  I'd still say that the event is a good opportunity to make some new friends who will travel for events and like to see you play.  The friends that don't go, well, it doesn't mean they still aren't good friends.  Maybe just not into the trip and the event like you are.

 

@coolpinkone: I don't know why it is, but immediate family seem to be the people *least* likely to ask you to play.  I very much doubt that it is because they are still scared from the first year, Toni.  You play well.

My own violin playing is still pretty rough, but I've been playing guitar and other instruments for more years, and I know I play well enough to be at least somewhat entertaining.  At some times over the years, music was what was paying the bills and putting food on the table.  So I don't think it is a matter of "not being good enough".  It is just something weird with immediate family.

About the only time anyone in my household asks me to play is if someone woke from a bad dream or something.  That's kind of a carry-over from when the kids were little, and I'll play a few lullabyes or (avoiding the use of the word "nocturne" to hopefully avoid technical debates) calming night-time music for a little while.  A little something to dream on.

A few times members of non-immediate family have asked me to play when they are visiting.  That's why I tend to think it is an oddity of immediate family

I usually play a bit at xmas, but it usually is just informal, me showing off an instrument or something I've been working on for someone to hear and everyone just happens to be in the house.

This last xmas was the only time it has been a sort of "official" event, though.  I had a piece I had written for violin, and a couple friends were coming by on xmas eve to hear it.  A few more friends got invited, and family was in doing the xmas eve thing, and so a bit of an event got made of it, as a "debut", since it was the first actual performance of the new piece in front of people as opposed to hearing bits and pieces of it when I was writing and practising it.  Special goodies and refreshments, and everybody finding a place to sit or stand to listen and I did a few holiday pieces to warm up and the new piece while everybody got amazingly quiet.  It was more a matter of it having "snowballed" than a fully planned event, though.   

It really felt kinda wierd, sort of "recital-esque" or something.  (Never played at any actual recitals, but I imagine it might be a bit similar.)  I'd really only been planning on a quick informal run through the piece for a couple friends, so it was a bit more of a "thing" than I'd been thinking of, since everybody crowded into the room to sit or stand and listen and "shhhhhhh.."  And more people listening than I'd been thinking it would be.  So be careful what you're wishing for, Toni, you might actually get it once in a while. LOL  

"This young wine may have a lot of tannins now, but in 5 or 10 years it is going to be spectacular, despite the fact that right now it tastes like crude oil. You know this is how it is supposed to taste at this stage of development." ~ Itzhak Perlman

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coolpinkone
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@DanielB I think that is so cool about your Christmas recital. I would think if I knew people we coming over I would be nervous.  Funny though, aside from video, I am not afraid to play in front of friends and family now.  I think my violin sings and helps me out... it sounds so much better than the recordings.... but you are right.. "becareful of wishing for something..."  ha ha. :)

Your nocturne playing sounds lovely.  I might have to refresh my Brahms. It is so pretty.  

The best thing about now... all the songs of the first year.. can be pulled out and refreshed and sound better in the first few rounds, than my best efforts after a few months a year ago.

:)

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

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1stimestar
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DanielB said
@1stimestar: Maybe the social customs up there are a bit different from what I am used to.  I've always been surprised (though pleasantly so) when friends would show up for a gig that was 50 miles away from "home".  Not a lot did, and it was usually the same ones, time and again.  Those are the folks to make sure you take special care of and try to keep in touch with over the years.  I'd still say that the event is a good opportunity to make some new friends who will travel for events and like to see you play.  The friends that don't go, well, it doesn't mean they still aren't good friends.  Maybe just not into the trip and the event like you are.

 

This one is right in town.  It's not the one I travel to see each year.  

 

Opportunity is often missed because it wears suspenders and looks like hard work.

 

Alaska, the Madness; Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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DanielB
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@coolpinkone: Oh, I was nervous.  I hadn't really expected everyone to stop everything they were doing and troop into the room and sit down waiting for me to play.  Just sort of happened that way.

And yup, you can play those early songs even better now, because your playing has been getting better.  You know more and have more experience.  Congrats!

 

@1stimestar:  Sorry, my mistake, I thought you had been talking about the Chickenstock festival you mentioned.

"This young wine may have a lot of tannins now, but in 5 or 10 years it is going to be spectacular, despite the fact that right now it tastes like crude oil. You know this is how it is supposed to taste at this stage of development." ~ Itzhak Perlman

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