Good use of colors, embellishments, dynamics and slides. I love it. What a difference when you add colors. You have music in you for sure.

Make a decision about where the climax or climaxes will be as well as the releases and relaxed sections and convince us in your performance. Your dynamics are great and really audible but maybe there should be a build up. Whenever your repeat the same section twice you might want to play it slightly louder or softer the next time. Echo works sometimes and sometimes a build up is better. You know the piece and you'll figure it out.

As an example you can get keep your phrasing but get louder at :30 then louder again at :42 then climax at :54 Fortissimo etc....... then start fading away towards the end....
This suggestion is just an example after listening to this once. You know the piece much better than me and can come up with a more convincing story. How about another run for the fun?
Also, try to end on a down bow.