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To begin with... I must admit that there are 8 years since I have stopped studying the violin in a serious way. It has been 4 years now since my last performance and time went away pretty fast. I used to be a very good violinist but I was discouraged due to the financial reasons that usually belong to playing this instrument.
During this time of my life I have seen a lot of people because I have worked in sales. I have started to learn more about the business world and how it works. During these years I have recognized the sound of the violin on the street and it sometimes made me think about it a lot.
I must admit that I have stopped playing due to the fact that I could not afford college and every time when I picked my violin up I felt like crying because I knew that deep deep inside of me there was the chance for me to become one of the best players in the country and I know that I could have made a good living off it - if only I could afford college. These thoughts of failure have prevented me from touching the violin.
After a moment of reasoning I have realized that my life is in fact a process where i learn new things and I began to understand the fact that the violin is in fact a part of my identity. I now feel this big desire to go and study and I will buy a new violin. I feel like I will continue to play it for the rest of my life. I believe that another mistake that I made was about the ubiquity confusion.
When you play violin all day and when you are surrounded by people who play the violin you may feel like you are worth nothing. This is far from the truth and not everybody in this world can play the violin. You have a special talent simply because you can play and you have extraordinary determination if you are able to play it for several years. These are skills that you cannot get from a normal job.
My best advice is this - never think about the fact that you are an average person because you can play the violin. You are really playing an unique instrument with a fantastic sound and your instrument will enlighten a lot of people, even if it may bore you to death due to intensive study - you need to remember that your music may burn you like a flame but it will also give light to a lot of people who are not professional musicians.
Try not to think of your life as damned : rather contemplate your life as trials and with perfect timing.
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