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Don't worry Donald, we all love the viola. Viola is just the chosen instrument for jokes.
Thanks for all the jokes. I just now found this thread....LOL
True story though, my favorite part of our boat is the "cockpit".
"The richest person is not the one who has the most,
but the one who needs the least."
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What did the German viola say to the English violin?
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???
Or possibly:
"???"
The usual German violas would not understand jokes. But if it is a cleverer German viola than the average, it might reply:
"In Deutschland haben wir keine Witze erzählen."
("In Germany we do not tell jokes." I used Google Translate to derive that - as my German is limited.)
Alternatively:
"Vee haf der best tone, vee haf der strongest strings, vee haf der loudest acoustiks, und vee are GERMAN !"
I expect I now have to wait a day or so to learn the original answer.
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Donald said
???
I think maybe you are looking for that other thread with a name like "Crude Impertinent Ethnic Insults". This thread is for fiddle riddles.
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Ohhh, another try for a solution to what the German viola said to the English violin.
"Können Sie mir helfen?
Jemand hat meine Saiten an den Zapfen nicht in alphabetischer Reihenfolge. C-G-D-A"
Can you help me ?
Someone has put my strings on the pegs not in alphabetical order. C-G-D-A
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RosinedUp said
What did the German viola say to the English violin?
Achtune? (Achtung)
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OldCrow said
RosinedUp said
What did the German viola say to the English violin?Achtune? (Achtung)
Plausible, but that isn't what happened in the specific encounter I am thinking of.
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What did the German viola say to the English violin.
Ich scheine zu fehlen meine Saite €.
(I seem to be missing my € string.)
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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says > ~~~?????
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Hi Horse,
What happened to your tail ?
Have you been scalped by a violinist or something ?
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@Fiddlerman .......lol @ the boat joke....or true story.... Giggle...
The German / English thing..... Snicker ... But why?
Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato
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It may not be as funny if it needs to be explained (and to some it will need to be explained). Also, the response will depend on your sense of humour and ability to recognise wit (or lack of wit ?). And one´s level of interaction and experience of different nationalities (alas) will also affect the reaction.
Spoilers:
Brits : English people
Boche : Cabbage head (French term for a German, I think the rather ugly German word Kraut also has similar origins as if you eat with Germans doing the cooking you will find they are particularly fond of eating cabbage, the word cabbage is Kraut in German)
Brash : English word
Bratsche : The German word for a viola.
Hence Brits / Boche / Brash / Bratsche are permutations of similar letters.
Violas do not have an E string.
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RosinedUp said
What did the German viola say to the English violin?
I Bratsche a different string, C?
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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says > ~~~?????
Why the long face?
Two sparrows hop in to a bar. They order two beers.
Barman says, "I can't serve you. You're out of your tree."
Woman goes to a hairdresser. She says, "hey you - are you the same one who cut my hair last time? It was all uneven, and you used way too much bleach on my highlights, made my scalp sting for a week, and plucked my eyebrows too much?"
Hairdresser says sheepishly, "er... yes, it was me..."
Woman says, "good. I'll have the same again, please."
Mr Jim 
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skeleton goes into a bar.
orders a drink.
and a mop
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Rattus Norvegicus said
skeleton goes into a bar.
orders a drink.
and a mop
That one ROCKs>> always makes me laugh
What do you call a FLY without WINGs??>
StondDog, said.
What do you call a FLY without WINGs??> 
A walk ? 
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Donald said
A link to some viola jokes:
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html
There are more.
I am a viola person myself, and I don´t mind the persecution, after all.... Bach Beethoven and Mozart all preferred to play the viola themselves. They had impeccable taste and did not need to prove anything, in a competitive sense.
But I accept a violin is a more versatile and expressive instrument.
@Donald I don't really agree that the violin is more versatile than the viola. I own both and have come to think that anything you can do on a violin, you can do on a viola.
And what about 14.5 inch 5 string violas? only half an inch larger than a 4x4 violin and has C to E strings 
But having said that, why does a viola burn longer than a violin? Answer. The viola is usually still in its case.
Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of ..... What was I saying???? 
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so the viola is the butt of a joke, like that there are so many drummer jokes?
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Fiddlerman said
Don't worry Donald, we all love the viola. Viola is just the chosen instrument for jokes.
Thanks for all the jokes. I just now found this thread....LOL
True story though, my favorite part of our boat is the "cockpit".
"COCKPIT- term used in connection with small boats to refer to an uncovered, sunken place or pit, usually for the accommodation of passengers."
Having been a bit of nautical experience in my previous life I had never heard of that term before.
I actully thought you had confused the term "Cocksun".
Actually spelled Coxswain but pronounced like the former, its the person who steers the small boat.
"Please play some wrong notes, so that we know that you are human" - said to Jascha Heifetz.
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