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Gordon Shumway said
Not violin, but my biggest embarrassments were1) oboe - forgetting which repeats the pianist and I had agreed on
2) piano - a 54-second-long Bartok piece which I knew by heart, but during a performance I had a memory blank and it took me about 10 seconds to find where I was in the sheet music.
@Gordon Shumway I can see #1 happening, especially if you changed your minds a few times.
#2 - It is a good thing you had the sheet music to help find it--even with the delay 
Probably you either have to refuse to play solo at all, or do it as much as possible as a self-discipline kind of thing, so that you will have some failures, but you'll also have some successes. If you choose the right audience, they'll look kindly on failures. Free tea and biscuits help.
Failures/successes - it's a balance. I think I learn better from making mistakes (perhaps because I'm hard-headed)--or at least, it makes the successes more meaningful
Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
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Memory
Gordon, in post #80 above, mentions having a memory blank while performing a piano piece. I have never performed a piece (other than a basic 2nd violin backup type thing with simple music) from memory in front of a live “audience” (I’ve done it in front of my teacher, other students, and the camera). I’ve not had the occasion to feel the need to.
I have memorized pieces (or sections of pieces)—but it has been the result of practicing them so much that I remember them; I did not set out with the goal to memorize them.
Not a statement of its value—just not a priority for me.
Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
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