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I started the same way. I still have trouble with wrist vibrato, but my arm vibrato is coming along!
The one thing I notice that I'm doing wrong is when I pull back on my fingers, my first knuckle locks and hyper extends making the "return" motion very difficult. That's partly because of my grip and part because of being double jointed.
Thank's to FM's recommendation of adjusting the angles of my fingers, I was able to get some of the vibrato motion!
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” ~Benjamin Franklin
In my book, Relaxation = Disregard, its just more snake oil. Sorry Professor V.
And if you bought a violin because you were motivated by classical music then you don't want to play dull folk songs in 1st position without vibrato. For us classical fans, I'm a bit puzzled why I waste so much time and energy on string crossing which enormously complicates making music which is the goal afterall. You can play many very interesting (to listen to) passages of 8-10 measures or so (eg. Tchaikovsky Symphony 5 , 2nd movement on the G string) on one string only. Its actually technically simpler than Suzuki Book 1 and much more interesting musically.
So why not learn a simplified scale system at first that avoids string crossing completely? The Flesh Scale System has this but the notation is crammed with all the complicated rhythms and bowings so its not as user friendly as it should be.
The other bugaboo I have is the lack of gradual progression into *continuous* vibrato. I really hate these adhoc approaches such as placing your hand against the ribs and rocking back and forth. All the flexibility exercises aren't worth a damn. It fools your mind into believing a little motor exists in either your hand or elbow when no such device exists.
Surely, some common sense approach is required, else the end result is irregular vibrato (can't control evenness) which is disastrous. Something along the lines of Finger Articulation Exercises (including harmonics) --> Chromatic Passages (to learn some movements of the fingers) -->etc etc. that leads to *continuous* vibrato where you have the ability to vibrate on 8th notes.
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