Hi all! I finally got my password today! Thank you, @Fiddlerman (fiddlerman)!

I have ever been depressed because...

1. I am still not able to play 4/4 Allegro, all 16th notes. This is very important for me so i'll be able to follow the orchestra. Last time i got Mozart symphony nr. 35 (Haffner symphony) in front of my nose and i failed to sight read it. I played 2nd violin. I was also playing in other orchestra as assistent concertmaster, but this was an advanced beginner orchestra (not really beginner, but also not very advanced), they sounded bad and once i got into another orchestra, it's too advanced for me while i'm in between these levels.

2. I'm an obsesive type, also somewhat repetitive. I repeat etudes over and over again. Other people said: "when will you finally start producing music??" Okay, my warming up takes a lot of time and whenever i am ready to play, i'm often already tired *LOL!* and oh... If you have experience playing in the 2nd violin section in the orchestra, i think you'll agree with me that the pieces we get to play are boring and don't even sound like hmmm...song! The first few weeks when i started playing in this section i was like,"WTH IS THIS?!?" ***ops, pardon!*** LOL! 

But....every time i get depressed i try to remember that Gavotte Gossec (suzuki 1) was my big struggle. I also try to remember all good things (concert tour to Budapest) and my progress. Then i take my violin again and start practising! 

Oh...i am here in this forum because i want to know and learn about fiddle music! I know almost nothing about it

Fiddlerman said
Very happy to have you here.

I feel that one should set goals but be careful not to set your expectations too high. In other words, set high goals but don't set expectations.
Record yourself, analyze the recording, make notes and work on the issues that you are having trouble with, then rerecord yourself. Be content with baby steps as they actually do add up over time.

For fiddle music check out the Friday Motivation thread.

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you're right, my expectation was too high! Now i want to go back on my own skills and technic because i felt like i was in a rush. 

I'm goin to check the thread. Thank you