Gordon Shumway said
Why is it not obvious to you that your teacher was rubbish?

Go back to Irish jam sessions. Meet someone else.

  

Well............she can really play at the high classical levels, so I guess that's why I didn't think that. She is past book 5 ,or is it 6 in Suzuki? The highest one. We are both left handed people playing an instrument that many people think is made for right handers. I had thought this was an added advantage for a teacher, so I dunno. I guess I held her in high regard.

But yes, maybe I made a big blunder here.

So far as the Irish sessions. I'm not a fan of bars, but maybe I'll try it again at some point. Presently I'm just sitting here wondering what my direction should be. If I don't have any inclination to know that, I suppose I can't expect anyone else to know either. I mean I'm still composing my own stuff for fun in the computer and I play the piano in church and sing in the choir. Do I really need to learn this instrument? 

Apparently I wasn't playing the Irish music correctly and to learn it her way with marked bow strokes all over the music took all pf the fun out of it. Now if I return to the sessions I will know I'm not doing it the right way and that bothers me. It's as if I sort of short circuited up stairs and I've put myself on idle lol.

Gordon Shumway said
The problem is, ultimately you'll probably end up in bars with a mando.

I know what you mean - I'd be more than happy to stay teatotal (haven't drunk any alcohol in 18 months, i.e. since the lockdown), and the bar ethos annoys me, but plenty of women where I live manage to go in bars and not drink.

Nothing wrong with doing mando and violin, but I'd say stick with the violin.

The only guess I can make at the meaning of "play in the string" (see Benedetti on bow pressure; although there might also be an element of Zen in your teacher's tediousness) is something she should have explained to you in 30 seconds, which she clearly made no attempt to do. It's probably easier to say "always listen to the sound you make and always try to make it the best sound you can make."

Suzuki comes across as robotic to us Brits, and that view might be reinforced if you need special Suzki teacher training in it as well (which your teacher doesn't appear to have had). Whereas British training is about tehnique and musicality and it continues that way through college and tachers come out able to teach technique and musicality, no parallel track. Havingsaid that, I did once have an oboe teacher who was a Zen bore. I gave him up after two or three lessons.

  

I'm not exactly sure what Zen is. I can tell you we bowed before each lesson and we always tuned the A string first. I just looked at it like it was her protocol. To say it was Suzuki inspired is probably an understatement. The old Grasshopper " wax on, wax off" thirty zillion times will make a better player idea I guess??? I hate to say it, but I believe maybe one underlying principle of it is to first break the player. She was very successful in that regard. My self confidence went from a 7 to a minus 3.

"Here do that", STOP!!! You need to do it this way ok go ahead. STOP!! You need to do this and that. OK, I attempt it. STOP!!.................fast forward two years. Wash rinse and repeat.

I need to change my screen name and that flowery pic. I am Tim Smith a man lol.

ABitRusty said
sorry to hear @starise .  Im still trying to figure out the IN the string comment.  sounds like a yodaism or something Mr. Miagi would say.  I cant see just quitting though.  I think Andrew has a good point in just going back to where you had most fun and exploring from there.  Not sure what Id do myself so anything Id say isnt tested.  I know you said youre not doing online but Ive seen alot of the biggest folk type players out there are doing online lessons right now.  Theyre expensive but with what youve done maybe one or two here and there may be an option.  It would be a hassel though.  webcams, zoom all that.  anyway, hope you find someone to jump into lessons with and for sure dont quit.  if nothing else just keep playing stuff you already know and be ready for an opportunity to open with another teacher.

I like the mandolin idea.  I mean a pick and frets make it totally different for sure but its close at least for an approximation.  It seems a little more relaxing to just noodle around in tunes with it.  I admit it may not transfer exact but keeps the fingers and brain engaged when I dont feel like fiddle..

  

I appreciate your thoughts and the thoughts of others. The way the hand leverages force on the strings is a little odd to start with. The arm itself is used to apply the force on the bow, but the hand seems to be also at times adding some. I always looked at playing the violin like I was learning 4 different instruments in one because each string is a different diameter and must be examined individually. What works for the G string doesn't work for the E string and so forth. In comparing  to a guitar which also has different sized strings, one can apply a similar technique  across all strings and not hear a huge difference or worry about doing something that will affect the sound in the extreme. The positioning is  not as extreme where the G string is a totally different arm posture compared to the E string. The violin is really a study in physics and it can be difficult to gain familiarity between strings in automatic mode. The brain doesn't often have the time to think, " I'm on the A string and it is played this way, now I'm in the D string so I play it this way." The brain makes these calculations without much thought if done properly. To make matters worse, we have famous players who say they just let the bow lay on the string and barely put any thing into it.

What I think my teacher might have been trying to convey was the string needs to "bite". IOW playing each note with a definite start. The bow doesn't do this for us and a constant applied pressure  sometimes tends to run the notes together or loose the focus of the notes. No matter how many bows I tried and different techniques I tried it was never totally to her liking. I'm not quite a whipped puppy yet, but close lol.