Welcome to our forum. A Message To Our New and Prospective Members . Check out our Forum Rules. Lets keep this forum an enjoyable place to visit.

Check out our 2023 Group Christmas Project HERE

AAA
Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log Insp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope




Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_Feed Topic RSSsp_TopicIcon
God Father... Critique
Let me have it
Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 (1 votes) 
Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 23, 2015 - 1:37 am
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ok.... I am ready for critique.. Pleaser me have it.. Been playing this too long .. And I need help.

http://youtu.be/PUKZUpjLfrM

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
Jacques
San Diego

Honorary advisor
Members

Regulars
January 23, 2015 - 2:46 am
Member Since: December 15, 2014
Forum Posts: 210
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think your tempo is great - I didn't have any problems keeping my ear to the song and hearing all of the fine articulation you've performed. 

Now, your bowing is ... unexciting. You'd improve by increasing the agility of your bow. Utilize detaché and vibrato to compensate for any lack of tempo.

Ive been asked at least twice to play this song! Now that I've heard it, I'm interested in learning it! Thank you for the share!

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 23, 2015 - 10:48 am
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you Jacques.   I will look up some detache strokes and see how I can incorporate.  Thanks for reviewing and helping me.

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
Uzi
Georgia

Honorary tenured advisor
Members

Regulars
January 23, 2015 - 12:02 pm
Member Since: January 19, 2014
Forum Posts: 973
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi @coolpinkone.  I can tell that you've listened to this song a lot.  You have the nuances of the rhythm and feel of this tune down pat.  The little unwritten pauses and hesitations between certain phrases is right out of the sound track -- well done. 

However, your tone is sounding tense.  If your tone sounds tense, generally that's because you ARE tense. I suspect that a lot of that has to do with pushing the tense-me-up/record button.  Still, that is something that might be worth adding to your list of things to work on.  It's definitely at the top of my own list. 

A lot of the tone that makes songs like the God Father, Sad Romance, Shindler's List, etc. so appealing is the romantic style of playing.  While some of that has to do with the heavy vibrato, the sliding shifts, etc. of the left hand, a huge factor that creates the emotion in these songs is the tone produced by the flowing bow strokes gliding smoothly across the strings's sweet spot. 

I think that it is likely that many of us and surely myself, devote a disproportionate amount of time to thinking about the left hand, when the right is at least important and is perhaps the more difficult to perfect. 

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright

Avatar
Barry
Members

Regulars
January 23, 2015 - 12:15 pm
Member Since: June 30, 2011
Forum Posts: 2690
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

the only thing I'll add which Uzi already stated is that by working on your vibrato that piece will come alive. Youve got the bones of it down very well, now just needs a touch of expression. Well done buddy  :)

There is no shame in playing twinkle, youre playing Mozart

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 23, 2015 - 3:02 pm
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you Uzi... I will work on that tense tone and keep trying to apply vibrato in the piece.  Thank you for listening and helping me.

Barry - thank you for listening and I will try to go from the basic frame and add some life...

Dynamics right? 

Thank you so much.

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
Ripton
Vermont, Massachusetts or somewhere in between
Members

Regulars
January 23, 2015 - 3:35 pm
Member Since: November 2, 2014
Forum Posts: 595
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

bravo. 

I have always been leery of trying this tune, but after watching you I think I will give it a try. I just need to see where I can fit it in on my rigorous practice agenda.. On a second note, perhaps it was the theme song to the Sting that I have been scared to try... violin-student

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 24, 2015 - 10:04 pm
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you Ripton.   I am playing now tonight.  I am not seeing a big difference as my vibrato is not an enhancement....  My problem with this great advice is that I am scrounging up videos and watching and trying to see what I can do to make my song not boring. 

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
Jacques
San Diego

Honorary advisor
Members

Regulars
January 24, 2015 - 10:37 pm
Member Since: December 15, 2014
Forum Posts: 210
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

coolpinkone said
Thank you Ripton.   I am playing now tonight.  I am not seeing a big difference as my vibrato is not an enhancement....  My problem with this great advice is that I am scrounging up videos and watching and trying to see what I can do to make my song not boring. 

That the spirit! Cowgirl up and and make that violin sing! Play it loud and with a fiery passion. Only then ~ will the tools listed above be accessible.

ill try and get all quotable on you...

The beauty comes from the force that is skillfully recomposed through technique.

 

in other words play it hard and loud, detaché to savor the sweet spots; vibrato and slow the bowing if you get confused, and then pick up where you left off. 

Avatar
TerryT
Coleshill, Warwickshire
Members

Regulars
January 26, 2015 - 8:09 pm
Member Since: December 15, 2011
Forum Posts: 1731
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
10sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

Wow! what a difference to 'the early days' well done CPO. to my untrained ear, it just needs a bit of "musicality"

united_kingdom-4178

I am amazed at how old people of my age are.....

Avatar
mischa91
Members

Regulars
January 26, 2015 - 8:56 pm
Member Since: October 18, 2012
Forum Posts: 303
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
11sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

Thanks for the video, I have to say I'm unfamiliar with this tune so I popped off to YouTube before replying to listen to the soundtrack version so I could get a better sense of your video.  Your playing was great, I could definitely relate the 2 tracks together; I also agree with some of what has already been said, to make your playing more of a peformance some dynamics would be great.  Like when I was listening to the sound track version there are some places where it's so quiet you can hardly hear it, then other places where it's loud and in your face, you know?   And while the track does make use of vibrato to give it a quality, your version doesn't necessarily need to to make it special and make it yours, just add a bit more life and colour to it with dynamics.  

I know now how hard it is to press the record button, it seems like you take about 20 takes before getting one you feel is good.  Ive been recording almost every practice session, just one or 2 songs just to get more comfortable with the camera and the whole process. 

Bravo! 

Avatar
JuanFiddler
Members

Regulars
January 26, 2015 - 10:08 pm
Member Since: September 16, 2012
Forum Posts: 167
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
12sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

Toni! I lhave to say I am very impressed with your sheet reading skills it's great that you develop fluency in music reading so when you are given any part of music to play it will be easy. Another awesome thing is your sense of rhythm and tempo I could easily tap it while I was listening to it. Now two suggestions to consider. 1) Dynamics 2) Shifting. Regarding dynamics is giving music phrases a beginning and an end. This you can either start a phrase playing forte or paino and end it accordingly. This will vary depending on what the music calls for. You need to play it the way it sounds in your head. Incorporating dynamics is highly important because it keeps the story interesting and prevents it from sounding dull. Now as for shifting, Toni I know for a fact that you have come a long way. There is a great progress in your playing, I'm not an exlert but critical enough. Still I feel it's time for you to stop relying so much on open strings. That is something that could make piece lose its content. You can use open strings when you have very short note values or when you lots of notes to be played in that string. But in a slow piece that doesn't work. This is your chance to incorporate shifting from 1st losition to 3rd position. Why? Because you are using a piece where it's possible to shift and you know it by heart already. All you have to do is practice with the scale which I don't know in this case. well that's it for now hope this helps a bit Toni. Keep on fiddling!

Juan.

There's nothing better than a cold beer and the warm soothing sound of a violin.

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 27, 2015 - 12:56 am
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

@mischa91 thank you for all that.  I heard what you said... Totally get what you are saying.  I am at a loss of exactly how to get to point B.. But I am watching videos and applying advice.  I am completely happy to get this feed back and make my Godfather better.   ;)

 

@TerryT .. Thank you bud... I totally feel it's missing musicality.  I hear how "dull" it is. I played it tonight and just gagged.  To me the song should be so "Italiany"... Even raspy ... I am frustrated that I can't make it sound like I want... But I am so happy to have come out of the early days... And I am not too creeped out.. Progress and this journey with you all is awesome!!!!! So happy that you listened!! Thanks!

 

@JuanFiddler  thank you. Yes... I use open strings like a smooth criminal.. I can't shift worth a dang.. Some dang mental block.. Or I don't get it.. Or I am  not working hard enough.. But you are right... Everyone has said it... Dynamics.. And Forte/piano... I have watched enough FM videos...  "Playing it the second time" a verse.. Give it more.. And this is a piece that can use the dynamics... I learned to play it a year ago.. Yup it was awful.. Do you remember that Google hang out?? Oh I sure do.

Anyway.. I confess my pink is spoiled and I have work to do... Much work.. My  pinky is the weakest link. But I will work and work and get it in shape.

thank you so much for you advice.  Everyone... I will get this pretty soon...

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
Jacques
San Diego

Honorary advisor
Members

Regulars
January 27, 2015 - 1:39 am
Member Since: December 15, 2014
Forum Posts: 210
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
14sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

@coolpinkone excellent is the way you're handling all of this constructive criticism. Now, I want to hear the new version of the piece before March 1st! Grind it out and then impress us all!!!

Avatar
mischa91
Members

Regulars
January 27, 2015 - 7:19 am
Member Since: October 18, 2012
Forum Posts: 303
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
15sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

Hey, is there anyway you could post the sheet music?  it might help us offer advice where you could either make your bowing softer or louder.  I'd be Interested to read the music to this tune.   I have issues with dynamics too, I forget to read the directions under the music and either end up playing all one tone or making the dynamics up as I go along.  Also, half the time I forget what the words mean ☺️

Try changing the volume of open strings, play them softly then play them really loud so you get a feel for how much pressure you need on the strings.  then when you transfer it over to the song you'll already have a feel for how much pressure you need to get the volume you want.    Have you looked at the sevcik PDFs?  I'm working throught them now and they're really helping me get a good grip on my bowing arm, maybe give them a glance over and maybe do the first few exercises and incorporate dynamics into the exercises, they cover long bows, bowing at the tip, middle and frog of the bow. You could mix it up and say do only long bows quietly and short bows loudly you could even add some other dynamics elements into the exercises.    Might help.  

Avatar
BillyG
Brora, North-east Scotland
January 27, 2015 - 8:31 am
Member Since: March 22, 2014
Forum Posts: 3744
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
16sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

I'm just catching up on a lot of posts... sorry I missed your original posting @coolpinkone - just catching up...

At only 10 months in to playing, I have little critique to offer - other than I can "see, and tell, just exactly what you want to do"   I can tell that from your expression (facial expression) and bowing.  

But I can also tell from your posted comment "And I need help" that you are - well not so much unhappy about it - you just "want MORE out of it" (I'm exactly the same - I am never 100% happy with anything I do - posted or not - until you "own the piece" it just never "feels right" - I know, I know....  I need serious help as well to break the fiddle-addiction I have - my 3 violins are never put back in their cases - one  (my FM Concert) has pride of place in a nice floor-stand - the other two are hung on the wall - I am never more than 10 feet away from any one of these three friends...  and scarcely does an hour go by without me taking 5 to 10 minutes "out" to play one of them - I'm lucky, being semi retired - I can do that)

I think you are coming along great !  

I've read the critique comments from others above, and I pretty much agree with them ( LOL - like I should know! - but yes I understand what's being said )

Out of interest - do you have a particular performance  ( like on you tube ) you try to "work with" ?   I've checked out a few and I like this one - let me know if that's what you do or if you "just play from the sheet" ( i.e. how much do you try to draw from an existing performance - I'm just curious....  I do that, and usually end up playing quite differently - well - you know what I mean)

I'm also a bit "scared" about attacking a piece  like that - it is "outside my comfort zone" - I really appreciate that you went for it - and I should maybe just knuckle down to it and have a shot sometime myself!  ( Jings - now I've talked myself into it - another one to add to the list....  grrr !!!! )

Well done Toni !  thumbs-upthumbs-upthumbs-up

I seriously recommend not copying my mistakes. D'oh - guntohead.JPG

Please make your own, different mistakes, and help us all learn :-)

Avatar
Schaick
Members

Regulars
January 27, 2015 - 8:35 am
Member Since: December 25, 2013
Forum Posts: 878
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

@mischa91 Is this it?

https://fiddlerman.com/wp-cont.....heme.pdf 

Edit:  That link did not work.  Go to the sheet music page on this site.

https://fiddlerman.com/studies.....iddlerman/

Violinist start date -  May 2013  

Fiddler start date - May 2014

FIDDLE- Gift from a dear friend. A 1930-40 german copy, of a french copy of a Stradivarius.  BOW - $50 carbon fiber. Strings - Dominants with E Pirastro Gold string.

Avatar
mischa91
Members

Regulars
January 27, 2015 - 10:01 am
Member Since: October 18, 2012
Forum Posts: 303
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
18sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

@Schaick That page has the school of violin technique on it which i've printed but haven't looked at.  the School of bowing technique is on this page:

https://fiddlerman.com/studies.....nd-etudes/

i'm still on book 1 but so far i like the exercises and they're giving me more control over my bow arm.

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 27, 2015 - 11:36 am
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
19sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

@Jacques .. I acept the Deadline of March 1st to play a new and improved version.. with some bowing improvement, vibrato if possible and fourth finger.  Also paying attention to Piano and Forte.   :)

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Avatar
coolpinkone
California, the place of my heart
January 27, 2015 - 11:57 am
Member Since: January 11, 2012
Forum Posts: 4180
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
20sp_Permalink sp_Print
0

@mischa91 The sheet music is arranged by Fiddlerman it is on the site.... ^^^^ Sheet music. 

I also have pulled out a fresh copy and I am taking notes of the dynamics.  That is the thing after knowing the song.. "or thinking" I know it.  So I did try a couple four finger E notes last night.  Sounded ugly.. but I am doing it.   :)

Woot.

Thanks for discussing this project with me. :)

Vibrato Desperato.... Desperately seeking vibrato

Forum Timezone: America/New_York
Most Users Ever Online: 696
Currently Online:
Guest(s) 120
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Members Birthdays
sp_BirthdayIcon
Today Michael Browder, EBurrell
Upcoming Sofia Leo, TKDennis, FiddleDetroit, CookiesViolin, JPferrman, Designer 88, LyleA, Stephen, Dorque, Trisha, Elaisa, Gordon Shumway, dougga, Russionleo, JohnG
Top Posters:
ELCBK: 7758
ABitRusty: 3914
Mad_Wed: 2849
Barry: 2690
Fiddlestix: 2647
Oliver: 2439
Gordon Shumway: 2425
DanielB: 2379
Mark: 2149
damfino: 2113
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 3
Members: 31661
Moderators: 0
Admins: 7
Forum Stats:
Groups: 16
Forums: 81
Topics: 10589
Posts: 134212
Newest Members:
Jan Howard, edwardcheng, Oscar Stern, bryanhanson, bittruster, fiddlecastro, jackdaniel, romanmills08, creativestringsinfo, rubble_b
Administrators: Fiddlerman: 16429, KindaScratchy: 1760, coolpinkone: 4180, BillyG: 3744, MrsFiddlerman: 2, Jimmie Bjorling: 0, Mouse: 5305